sabado 8 abril,

if arbitrary color usage is not really arbitrary… then are arbirtrary decisions in general really arbitrary either? does arbitrariness really exist? and if it doesn’t does that change the nature of the decisions we’ve been attributing to it all along. are human beings capable of discarding both rhyme and reason, and operating nonsensically, amorally, and randomly, without intent or agenda? it seems that we’re not. so maybe the focus should turn to what motivators lead to the decisions we make, rather than to simplistically attributing arbitrariness as being our only catalyst.

I remember in an art history class once___ I’m pretty sure it was judy george who was teaching it, she was discussing the fauves and she used the term arbitrary color usage. that phrase just didn’t ring true to me; those painters were clearly making color choices based on something – there was an esthetic intent that was apparent and revealed a certain consistency that belied arbitrariness. the phrase stuck with me though, and at times it irritated me because it seemed like such a lack of appreciation for what the fauves were doing, at other times however, it inspired me to try to pursue the achievement of arbitrariness… what if I could liberate myself from intention and reason?

I think however there is always a reason and perhaps, always a purpose behind the decisions we make, but these are not always (if ever) readily perceivable… the trick (and maybe the obligation) then is to see through the veil of obscurity and identify the causative elements.

this applies to why derain painted the way he did, as much as to why terrorists, presidents, and ceo’s do the things they do. and of course, why I am doing this right now… and why I will choose to do that later.

the day was pretty low key. it was cooler than usual and overcast, I spent most of it reading in the hammock, just wandering out occasionally for supplies.

domingo 9 abril,

is that true? I guess it is. seems like it must be later than just the 9th of april, time is going by wonderfully slowly here… I wonder if I’ll be able to keep it at this pace when I return… probably not.

it’s a shame… well, not really a shame, more of a drag, I guess__ about my camera. both because I keep seeing things I’d like to photo, and because I wanted to stop off in Antigua at the end of may and give it to alejandra as a thank you and going away present… maybe I can find a memory card… seems that giving it to her without one would sorta be worse than not giving it to her at all. hmmm.

my digestive system doesn’t quite feel right, and I’d blame it on Guatemala, but it was acting up before I left Venice, so that wouldn’t seem fair. hard to tell whether it’s gotten worse or is simply not getting better. I don’t think there’s much I can do from here though, and it’s not really that bad, just a little off. some days moreso than others.

I wonder if there’s anyway we could fix our failing political system. the very fact that bush could get elected___ the first time through deceit, and political manipulation, and the second time simply through the stupidity, fear, and prejudice of the constituency, who it appears did actually vote him into office that time___ shows that there is clearly something very wrong in our decision making process. the system is fallible and prone to foul play, and voters are easily misled. if we could somehow limit campaigning to written statements outlining intentions and platforms and then somehow hold elected officials accountable to their expressed intentions. it would be interesting to see what would happen if names and photos of the candidates were withheld… would women, blacks and other under-represented groups be more likely to win elections? it seems that people base many of their decisions on unimportant factors, but then__ who am I to say? maybe those choices are just as legitimate, or more so, as the ones based on the criteria I value… people voting for a president because they like the way he looks, or because they trust him to protect them might be operating more accurately (even if that leads them to choose somebody like bush) than somebody trying to weigh a candidate’s potential job performance and political tilt.

how does this relate to the arbitrariness question from yesterday? and the continuing theme of decisiveness in the face of overwhelming opportunities/options?

there are many less successful forms of government than what we have in the us, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have plenty of room for improvement… and it doesn’t mean we can’t look to other countries (denmark, norway, even canada) for ideas.

that’s enough for now… it’s still early and time for breakfast. I wish you were here and we could all have breakfast together at shanti shanti and look out over the lake on this lovely spring morning.

this is the view from the breakfast table at shanti shanti.

lunes, 10 abril

well, that is good news. I’d forgotten that I wrote yesterday morning, but I knew I hadn’t written last night, so I was thinking I was a bit further behind than I am. but here it is monday afternoon and I’m sorta caught up and all.

last night I went up to the allegre. I had run into anna the bartender earlier in the day while I was out for a walk and she was on her way to work. she mentioned the sunday night trivia quiz, so I decided to check it out. I did alright, with a little help from udi, but didn’t win the prize (beer). it seems the strategy is to form bigger teams, and I hadn’t caught onto that, so I just sat at the bar and answered what I knew and took udi’s advice when it sounded better than anything I had. it was fun, and due to the odd system of specials that they have there, I managed to drink four beers for the price of two, so it was quite an evening. udi, bytheway, is a friendly guy from tel aviv who I was thinking I’d mentioned in an earlier entry, but now I realize that maybe that was in an email to aliza, who is herself, currently in tel aviv, I believe (good rhyme, huh?!) anyway it was a fun evening, but resulted in my neglecting to write.

today, has been pretty relaxing. a couple walks, a lot of hammock time, some conversation with my new neighbors, as well as the remaining old one. I think I might go ahead and post this today, the internet place is closed on sundays, so I didn’t go up there yesterday, I’m thinking it might be worthwhile to relax and take my time and get caught up as far as the internet goes, a bit today. I usually try to get in and out of there in fifteen minutes, which is enough time to check email and glance at headlines, but loading the blog (at least with photos) takes longer… enjoy the pics now though, they’re gonna be running out soon, I fear.

speaking of reading the headlines, I’m heartened by the cia leak implications for both bush and cheney___ having just read that Nixon book I think I’ve mentioned, it’s clear that they had less on Nixon than they do on these guys and we know how that turned out… it’ll be interesting to see whether things fall apart as quickly for them as they did for Nixon once they start to slide downhill… I’ll be down here with fingers crossed, although still not holding my breath… one never knows, you know.