it's interesting to think about (for me anyway) that these paintings and this life... the paintings I'm doing now and the life I'm living now, could never have occurred had the whole thing with gerri never happened. I'm unimaginably removed from, not only the life that I was leading six years ago but also, the life that I would be leading today, were it not for the events of six years ago.

what life altering decisions we can find ourselves periodically making, and what astounding circumstances we can find ourselves in... like little personal paradigm shifts that change our entire way of seeing and being, altering our point of view, our perception... and causing the death of the incarnations we once were____ forks in our road leading us off into unexplored and unexpected territory. that person that inhabited my shared consciousness six years ago is just as dead as he would be, had I walked unsuccessfully through traffic and been crushed beneath a convoy of 18-wheeler tractor trailer truck tires... and the person I am today would just as simply never have come into being.

that of course is not the only death I've experienced. there are girls and homes in my past that have no common point of contemporary reference and are as if they never existed, and yet, had different choices been chosen, they would have remained relevant into today's life. perhaps we die each minute, but seldom are the transitions as apparent as romances beginning and ending and locations visited and left.

well, enough of that for tonight.

this morning, I went to the coffeeshop. then rode my bike up to the macmall at 15th and wilshire in santa monica and bought an ipod to replace the one that sara broke last week, apparently they are very expensive in the UK and so denise asked me to buy one here and ship it. after I got home, I worked on the computer awhile, just cleaning up things I'd missed on yesterday's update. then susan stopped by to look at some pics that her computer wouldn't open (don't know why). michelle called___ she stayed home sick from school, was feeling a bit better after multiple baths and nap and broken fever in mid afternoon, which is good because her dad's visiting as of this evening, just for a day.

mailed the ipod at the post office on my way to the beach. the day was beautiful again and I had a nice swim and read for an hour or so laying on my blanket on the sand. came home, made chess and scrabble moves with bruce and lucy, instant messaged with lucy a bit, she's working hard and hectically.

went to the coffeeshop, talked with tim and eric. came home, talked with michelle on the phone. had a message from susan interested in getting a movie, I called back telling her I had one and she could come over. she had unexpected maternal obligations and so I ended up getting a burrito and watching the movie by myself__ lost in translation... I'd seen it in the theatre when it came out, but hadn't seen it since. I like it, but not as much as everybody else seems to. glad I saw it again though.

that was my day, now i'm tired. ready for bed.